Grief
by zat-writes
Summary: After losing Caboose to the enemy, Epsilon loses it and takes it out on anyone he can get Carolina's hands on. Implied Churboose


Denial

It all seemed to happen so fast. The domed energy shield dropped and bullets zipped by. Some of the pirates who had ambushed them went down but so did Caboose. In that moment, when the first bullet pierced through Caboose's body, Church panicked and took control of Carolina's body. He shot and killed the remaining pirates as fast as he could. Unfortunately, he was not quick enough.

Several bullets plunged into Caboose before he hit the ground. One had even found its way through his gold colored visor. The kid was dead before Grey could even get to him. In an instant, Caboose's life was snuffed out right before their very eyes.

The sight of Caboose's lifeless body was burned into Epsilon's memory. A numb feeling took over as he stared from Carolina's shoulder at the Blue soldier's corpse. At the blood that pooled around him. He could not believe this. He refused to believe this

"No," Church said with a stern, desperate tone. He had interrupted Doctor Grey as she was calling his time of death, but he did not care. Not one bit. "He's not dead. He can't be. Help him! For the love of god, help him!"

"There's nothing I can do," Grey said, a twinge of pity and sadness in her voice. "He's gone."

"No, fuck that. You can help him. He's not dead. He's not dead and you can fucking help him," Church hissed, motioning desperately at Caboose. "Help him. Help my friend. Please. I'm begging you."

"Church, he's gone," Carolina said, looking at the hologram of Epsilon rather than the poor boy's corpse. Her voice was broken and hinted with the same sort of sorrow as Grey. The same tone that was pissing him off.

"No, he's not dead. He's not," Church repeated firmly, trying to convince himself more than anything. All eyes were on him now. "He can't be dead. He's Caboose and Caboose is practically indestructible. He's survived much worse and he just can't be dead, okay? This is all a lie. He's not dead and he just needs help."

"Epsilon, there is nothing we can do," Carolina repeated more firmly. "I know how much it hurts to lose a friend, but denying it won't change anything. Caboose was a good friend and he will be missed, but he have to move on."

"Carolina, how the fuck can I just move on? He just got shot and we could have done something," Epsilon growled. "I could've tried harder to find a way out of this. I could've reacted quicker. I could have done something, anything to save him."

"It wasn't your fault," Tucker chimed in, his voice more gentle and sad than usual. "We were surrounded."

"You know what? You're right. It isn't my fault," Church replied bitterly, turning his attention towards Doctor Grey. "It's her fault."

"Church-"

"No, Carolina. This was all her idea. She wanted to drop the shield and let Freckles try and take them all down," Church roared with a tremble in his voice. "Caboose is gone and it's her fault."

Grey opened his mouth to reply, but he was cut off by Carolina. "We don't have time for this. We have to inform Kimball and Doyle about the other key and the temples," she said, hoping to put off this inevitable explosion between the grieving AI and the federal Doctor.

Church glared a, but said nothing as Carolina contacted the Generals. After that, Doyle went to retrieve the key himself, prompting the team to go retrieve him. They had to leave Caboose behind, despite Church's protests. They just could not carry a corpse with them right now. He was able to convince Carolina to take Freckles however. The talking rifle was hardly a consolation, but it would feel wrong not to keep something to remember Caboose by.

Epsilon stayed quiet and hidden as they hurried to save Doyle, his mind still reeling and the image of Caboose still burning in his mind. When they got to the temple, he hardly noticed when Carolina parted from the group to fight that guy Caboose had named Sharkface. He finally snapped out of it when she confronted him.

Epsilon burned with rage when he saw that bastard standing before them. He was to blame. He was the one who set up the ambush. He was the one who took Caboose away. He had to pay.

Before Church knew it, he was in action. He took Carolina's body again and threw himself at Sharkface. Time was slowed for Epsilon. He saw each hit coming and formulated the best line of retaliation. Using Carolina as a puppet, he disarmed the enemy. A punch was thrown and Epsilon caught it. A few kicks landed on Sharkface's stomach before he yanked himself away. He retaliated and Carolina took a hard hit to the ribs.

"I'll fucking kill you," Church snarled, using Carolina's speed boost to launch himself at the enemy, ice cracking beneath her feet. A fierce punch to the face sent the bastard flying. He smacked into the ice, cracking it more from the weight.

Sharkface growled and stood up. The sound of clicking was heard as he threw his arms down. With a smug snicker, the bastard blasted flames from his wrists. Epsilon, who was still in control of Carolina, acted quick and flipped backwards to save her from the flames.

"Church, what are you doing," rang Carolina from inside their shared head.

"I'm taking this bastard out for taking Caboose from me," Church growled out loud.

"Church!"

Carolina did not have time to talk sense into the grief stricken AI before he threw them at Sharkface again. Church knocked Shackface's arm away in time to evade another blast of flames before throwing powerful punch to the gut. Another blast from the enemy's flame thrower was deflected and another punch was thrown. Sharkface managed to land a mean kick to Carolina's midsection, sending her body back. All the while, cracking could be heard.

As they fought, the ice beneath their feet grew more and more cracked until it gave way under them. Carolina and Epsilon tried to cling to the edge of the hole, but Sharkface hooked onto Carolina's leg with a grappling hook. And so they all dropped down through a tunnel of ice, sliding at breakneck speeds through pillars of thick, blue ice.

Church pulled out Carolina's magnum and fired at Sharkface. His aim was shit and Sharkface was able to evade them by weaving between the many pillars as they slid down towards the unknown. Then the enemy followed suit and pulled out his own gun, firing shots at Carolina.

Epsilon tried his best to evade the bullets, but he failed. One bullets pierced Carolina's thigh.

"Church, give me my body back," Carolina screamed in their head. "You're going to get us killed!"

"Fine," Church shouted, handing over Carolina's body.

The freelancer took charge, weaving between the ice pillars to dodge Sharkface's bullets. Carolina returned fire. Her aim was better than Epsilon's and she managed to get a shot in as Sharkface weaved through the pillars.

Epsilon stood by, spectated as Carolina combated their enemy, still fuming with rage. When she ordered him to activate the healing unit, he did. When she ordered him to activate the speed boost, he did. When she ordered him to activate the domed energy shield, he tried. But he failed.

Sharkface had won that battle and they wound up at the bottom of a cliff, sprawled out, defeated in the snow

Depression and Bargaining

"Church, what on earth were you thinking," Agent Carolina asked, looking down at the hologram in front of her. "You can't just take my body like that. You could have gotten us both killed."

Epsilon did not reply. His head hung as he stared down at the grass covered ground. He could feel Carolina's eyes burning into him as she awaited an answer, but he did not care.

"Church, I know you're upset about Caboose and I know how it feels to lose a friend-"

"Carolina, I was so awful to him," Epsilon finally spoke, his tone low and full of sorrow. "I insulted him, called him names, and I treated him like he didn't matter. He was there for me when I was trapped in that memory unit. He told me stories and tried to revive me when no one else would... and I treated him like he was nothing more than a pest."

Carolina frowned behind her visor, looking down at the ground as well. She knew as well as anyone what it was like to have said or done awful things to someone before losing them. She could empathize with the AI.

"You really cared about him, didn't you?"

"Yes, but I was too stupid to tell him. Too stupid to even treat him decently," Epsilon said, a tremble in his voice. "I never thought that he'd be gone. I never thought he'd die. Carolina, I want him back"

"I know how you feel," she replied with a gentle tone. "Losing people you care about isn't easy."

"I would give anything to just take all of this back. To go back and change how everything went down," Epsilon went on, hands going up to grip his helmet. "I just want him back. I'd do anything. I'd treat him right and apologize for every insult I've ever said. I'd listen to his stories that never end again. I'd stop telling him to shut up. I'd do anything, Carolina. I just want him back."

"I know you do, but we can't change what happened, Epsilon," Carolina said with that same, gentle tone as before. "We can't bring him back and you can't take my body to exact your revenge."

"... I know."

Anger and Acceptance

Epsilon tried his best to contain his emotions, but it was a failed effort. He had a shorter fuse than usual and he blew up at everyone. He even hijacked Carolina's body again to beat up Grif after he said something insulting about the dearly departed Caboose. Carolina only yelled at him a little that time because she understood.

However, she was not as forgiving when he took control to beat the shit out of that Andersmith guy for acting like he was the only one who missed Caboose. Or when he took control to punch Grif again, unprovoked this time. Or when he took control to vent his wrath on a warthog, successful destroying the vehicle.

She tried talking to him time and time again, but nothing got through. He would act like her point was made clear, only to turn around and have another grief induced outburst. Epsilon was not ready to get over this. He refused to get over this.

When those god damn pirates stormed the city Epsilon was more than ready to rip them to shreds. More than ready to make them pay. They took Caboose from him and they weren't going to get away with it. Every last pirate had to die.

Epsilon waited until Carolina set out with Washington and Kimball. Once they were out searching for the reactor, he took control again and slipped away. They could handle themselves, right?

With Freckles in hand, Church charged onward. The rifle detected hidden heat signatures and fired automatically. All Church had to do was point the gun in the right direction. He cheered as he watched pirate after pirate fall by his hand.

"Target eliminated- Target elimina- Target elimin- Target- Target el- Target," Freckles narrated as Epsilon killed more and more pirates, getting cut off by kill after kill.

"Church," cried Carolina's voice in the back of his mind as he gunned down enemy after enemy. "Church, please."

"Shut up, Carolina," Church roared.

"You're quite angry, Epsilon," said a familiar voice in the recesses of his mind. It was Omega. "Do you need help crushing everyone?"

"Yes," Church replied without a thought.

In that moment, rage consumed all and Epsilon ceased to respond. Man after man was gunned down at the hands of the Omega possessed Epsilon. Everything was like a white blur.

When Epsilon finally realized just how far Omega had taken them, he found himself straddling the corpse of Sharkface, pounding his lifeless face with the butt of the rifle. Carolina's teal colored armor was stained with the blood of the enemy and an empty feeling took over.

Epsilon stopped abusing the lifeless body and simply stared down at the bludgeoned face. He had won. He had taken out the one who had taken Caboose and countless enemy soldiers too. He should have felt victorious, but it was pyrrhic victory.

Sharkface was dead and so was Caboose. There was no bringing him back.

"I'm... so sorry, Carolina," Epsilon choked out as he stood up, backing away from the corpse. "I'm so sorry."

He turned around, coming face to face with Agent Washington and Kimball. He had no clue when they got there or how much they had seen, but he did not care. Not one bit. He just want this all to be over.

Epsilon handed Carolina her body over. Before they could have any sort of heart to heart, Doyle radioed them with some bad news.


End file.
